How Do We Get Our Kids To Get Along?

This is a picture that one of our daughters took of the dining room just before they called us in to eat. A couple hours earlier as it was raining and they were bored and hungry, I recommended that they should work together in the kitchen to make a side for the beef that Keith was smoking on the grill. With excitement they all agreed and the cookbooks flew open, ingredients were retrieved, and pots banged as they put them on the stove. Minutes after going into the kitchen an argument over which pot to use began. It was a battle of the will and neither girl was giving in. Oh brother, what did I get all of us into? A timeout was called and a team meeting began on our oversized ottoman in the living room.

In my mind I was thinking, "Why can't they just get along?" Well, I know the wisdom in only one chef in the kitchen, but these were my girls and they knew how to work together. I began to ask questions and then received a phone call, so I let Coach Daddy take over. The little powwow did them some good, because all began to run smoothly and they decided to not only do one side dish, but two. I took the little ones outside after the rain stopped and let them proceed.  The meal went beautifully as they went the extra mile and set up candles and table decor (Nothing like paper plates. You see, they have to wash the dishes. Very smart girls.) and the spirit was sweet. We ate in candlelight. This food was actually good. We were very proud of them.

This is not the first time they have argued and will not be the last. In fact, it seems to be more often than not lately. Being unkind and acting like a bully at our house is unacceptable and we deal with it as it arises. We can discipline and cause them to stop openly acting in such a way because of the fear of punishment, but we know that we cannot change the issue of the heart. Only God can do that. We can force the hugs and we can force the apologies, but until they sincerely do those things it amounts to basically nothing. As Keith and I have come to realize that outward behavior may be able to be controlled, if their heart is not right in accordance to God's Word, then we are in a heap of trouble. At some point this ugly heart will manifest itself and not care who it hurts in the meantime. So, how do we get our children to get along with each other?  

I have no magical answer, but I do believe I received a word this morning as I sat in Sunday School listening to the author of the book, "Transforming Prayer".  He was speaking about the church body, which is made up of the believers in Christ. He said that instead of just trying to get everyone to get along with each other, our goal should be to get the believer to draw closer to God and in return they will draw closer to one another and the issue will not be forced or insincere. It will be real and it will be unified and it will glorify the God that we serve. I thought, if I can continue to encourage and pray for and demonstrate a godly example to our children, then surely as their relationship with the Lord strengthens, so will their relationship with each other. Will we allow unkind words, unkind actions, hitting, screaming, and arguing? No, it is unacceptable. But, with.... 1-patience and coaching  2-being an active part of the cultivation of their spiritual walk with Bible reading and worship-based prayer 3- simply being a family that is real in their own walk with Christ by confessing sin and struggles and asking for forgiveness...then I believe as God begins to work our children will begin to get along.

Nothing new for most of us parents, but it is nice to be reminded.

Here are some pictures of life in the Boggs house the last few weeks.

Thankful the chickens are growing!

Thankful for canned blueberries!

Thankful for lots and lots of watermelon!

Thankful for the little girl growing into a young lady!

Thankful for corn on the cob and creamed corn!

Thankful for watermelon juice dripping off little chins!

Thankful for fresh, whole wheat cinnamon rolls!

Thankful that baby girl is writing on the paper this time!

Thankful for a mac and cheese recipe that is a keeper!

Thankful for mama's red raspberry brew. I drink 3-4 cups a day. Good for me and the baby!

Thankful to be a little over half way there. 20 wks. and 4 days!

Nichole